Monday, November 10, 2008


What have I done.

My words don't matter anymore. I can say all of it till I'm blue in the face, but it still won't matter.

I'm sorry it took me that long to learn how to be in love. But it did and I was looking foward to an amazing future. Now you can't even look at me.

I really did put it all behind me. But I guess it doesn't matter.

Dear girl of my dreams,
I'm sorry.

And I don't want to say goodbye, but I know you already did.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

snake skin shed

I use to be the blackest
And now I'm just dull

I use to carry mystery in my left hand
A touch of carelessness, a dash who cares
I demand
To know what happened
To this undescribible man

I have vanished
I have vanished
I'm a gone

You can't see me now
You can't see ne now

Now has he banished
Oh maybe banished

You'll never see how
But you know now

I am the blackest
the lowest points of your life
I am your secrets
Your worst fears brought to life

I got lots of holes
In my flesh and in my bones
I got lost along the way
Don't even mind me, I won't even stay

I'm empty
I'm empty
I'm empty

Come together, join your hands
I'm the son of man, i'm the son of man
Everybody, tell your friends
This is all within my master plan

Come find yourself in me
Pressures on pressures on
And you're starting to see
The cracks in me
The cracks in me

He's gonna blow
He's gonna blow

I am the burning man
I am the burning man
I am the burning man
I am the burning man
I am burning

Monday, September 15, 2008

little things

Are the things that make life, relationships, anything really, worth it. They matter more than the bigger aspects of life, to me anyway.

I haven't wrote in this for a while, I kinda felt like I had more to do, then say?! Idk.

A lot on my mind.

Wake me up when life gets easier.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

5 t r 3 5 5

This whole goddamn tour is stressin me to the max. Between last minute merch orders, the van maybe/not maybe getting fixed in time. All the dudes fighting and dissagreeing about everything and getting on each others nerves like crazy. Then ontop of that, working two jobs just to keep up with all the money we owe for shit while some people barely work any jobs, frustrating. And then ontop of that trying to still mantain an normal life, give attention to those who needs a deserve it, still be a good friend/roomate, still have time and energy for everyone. And yet I feel like I'm failing. I'm not trying to be selfish. I'm trying to be 100 different people, and its wearing me out. I'm just trying to be happy and make a few people happy as well. Ugh, its all so much somtimes, and I feel like I'm failing, terribely. And in the back of my head is the touring schedule for the next 3 months and that makes me feel like this won't end. This is my dream, but goddamn its stressful right now

This is the life I chose.
I'm sorry to all who it disapoints.
One day it will be different.


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

we won

Game over.


See ya in the winners circle, ill be holding the trophy.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Under pressure

4th and goal, last seconds of the game, 25 yards away, scores tied up, all we need is a field goal to win the super bowl. And this season has been so rough and we are the underdogs everyones rooted for. And here I am, about to make or break these dudes hopes and dreams. We win, our lives could be what we wanted to be. We lose, its my fault and we lose it all.

This is how I feel

No pressure right?

Recording vocals this week.


Wednesday, July 16, 2008

when it rains, it pours acid

The past few days/weeks have been so goddamn stressful and full of bad news and dissapointment. I between working 2 jobs, the band which is more than a fulltime job, my family, friends, its all just been too much it seems. My stress level is outta tis world, I have trouble breathing. It gets harder everyday.

All I want is one day without terrible news, shitty people and so much stress I wanna die.

I feel like I'm so close to killing something. Ha.

Thanks for dealing with me and making me at ease and feel better.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

on second thought...

Fuck today.

All I did we get yelled at, stressed out, get real sad, get bad news, lost a lot of fucking money, lose a debit card, sweat and get lied too.

I wanna pretend today didn't happen. The bad out wieght the good today. At least I swam.

Well fuck it. Bye.

this made my morning, thanks tyler

I've had shit morning, lost my atm card, had to drive away from the DD drive thru and felt like an ass, got to work feeling shit and coffeeless, and just as I was set on having having a bad day...a 5 year old said this in reaction to my facial hair and general appearance...

Tyler-"Mr. Muise, you got like a daddy moustache, like you could fight anyone"

Me- "oh ya bud, ya think so?"

Tyler- "ya and like yer tattoos and flip flops, you could probably kill so many stupid men, I'm gonna be you in a few years when I'm bigger, okay?"

Hahaha, how could you ever be pissed or do anything but smile all day.

Thanks Tyler.

Monday, July 7, 2008

life gives you lemons, it gives me dogshit.

Everytime it seems, somethings gonna go right, or I'm gonna get a lil extra something, life has a funny way of robbing me.

Everyone got that extra 300 or 600$ check from good ol america, this year.

So I think, oh shit, I'm gonna do somthing nice. I've wanted a new laptop since the fire...and since my benefit show money was stolen, I wasn't able to get it. So here's my chance...

Cept, my brakes gave out on the way home and I put the car in the shop. 350$ for brake lines, and since its aug, 50$ for new sticker, 100$ to reregister my car. 65$ for cell phone...which leaves me with dick.

I guess I'm thankful the money was there, but still give me a goddamn break. I just want something nice.
When I'm not touring, I work 2 fucking jobs, and I always feel like I never have money. Blah being in debt is the fucking worst.

Its so hard to have a positive out look on things, when those things go to shit.

The only plus is I'm blessed with someone who hurts when I hurt, cries when I cry, and smiles when I smile. She honestly gets me through these hard days. So its hard to upset about material things when she's laying next to me in bed. So in that way, I'm lucky.

But goddamnit I just wanted a laptop. Ha.

Thursday, July 3, 2008


Shall go something like this...

Sound clips
Rock and roll
A.W.K. (Hehe)
Rock and roll
Rock and roll
...sleep, never.

Come do this all with me.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

list of things before tour.

I leave aug 8th for a month of touring in canada.

There are things I wish/like/need to do before I leave.

In no order really

1. Camping trip for 2
2. Buy a canoe
3. Get sleeve finished, also toe knuckles
4. Make as much money as I can working/side jobs
5. Find out if tmoblie with covers canadian roaming.
6. Get drunk and swim.
7. Ride, ride, ride my bike
8. Shave/wax robb harkins ass
9. Do nice
10. Go to as many flea markets as I can

This will be the longest tour I've ever been on. I couldn't be more excited/nervous. I hope all goes well. But I couldnt have ask for 4 better dudes to do it with.

I leave on the 7th/8th get back on the 30th....which means everyone will miss my birthday on August I exspect presents and a party when I'm home. Ha.

Poutine and my friends in I come.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

this is me, giving up

I'm done with people.
I'm done proving my worth.

I've made so many positive changes in my life. And I'm very proud of who I've become.

But when people you've known for years and stood by in their times of need, turn around and completely forsake you, say horrible things about you and completely diregaurd the changes you've made in your life, that hurts.

When you've stood by somone through anything, been a source of strength and support and help, and what you get back is complete betrayal. Wow.

All I exspect from my friends is what I put in. Friendship is a two way street.

How dare you take your past issues out on me?!

So I'm done. No one should have to prove/defend themselves this much.

It hurts to know someone feels this way about you.

So, I give up on you.

Stay out of my life.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

you and me.

We got it on lock.

Yes this songs about you.


These are my sorrows
This is my plea

Woe is me
Woe is me
Woe is me
Its a pity party

Hello there, hello there
Lets see how many of you I have fooled

Hi there, hi there
What is poor boy suppose to do

We are the after party
We are living proof

We are the after party
Look at me this could be you

Here I invite all your lonely bones
To hear a tale of boy about to explode
Partake in his lonely life, his life on hold

We are living proof
That such a goddamn ego
Could fit into one room

The world revolves around me
The worlds repulsed with me

...and now, I'm over it. But I won't forget.

I feel like people like this are placed in my life to show me how to not be. Almost like I start to do things or act a certain way, and then shit people are placed into my life. And for that I'm thankful.

Monday, June 23, 2008

first post, here I am.

I'm going to be honest and not give a fuck here. Cuz after all this is what this exhist for. Love me or hate me. This will be me.
Feel free to partake in my life.