Mildly content holidays

Holidays don't feel like they used to. Ever since nanny past away. It's probably because my extended family forgot how to be a family. I really wish they'd open there eyes. Unfortunetly it will probably take extreme situations like another death in the family for them to relieze what we are all missing out on by holding gruges and keeping distances.

Mom, Bob, Amanda and I are trying out best to make new holiday traditions, just wish I still had old ones. But for now we have each other which is nice.

I vow to my future partner and children I WILL make the holidays something you look forward to instead of wondering if your family will even send a fucking card.

If I sent out cards this year to my aunts, uncles and cousins, they would read:

Dear Family,

Wake the fuck up, we still exhist.

Sincerly,

A person you don't even know anymore.

-- d

I don't know how time after time I surround myself with the worst back stabbing pieces of shit alive.

You'd think after being friends for years, like 10 years, certain things would be a given. But you, you dragged your lack of morals and the fact that you can't keep your shitty dick in your pants and ruined a friendship.

I want NOTHING to do with you. Im so dissapointed in you and I hope one day you actually grow the fuck up.

Stay away from me.

You're more than a friend to me
You're my family
Get fucked



-- d

Tell me

Am I just wasting my time thinking, pouring my self out, not sleeping all for nothing. Please just fucking tell me. And I'll just stop.


-- d

Can't

This is killing me, my mind is going to explode.

Just speak.

The dreams, the thoughts, the shit I'm going thru is terrible.

I put myself here and I want to take myself out.

Todays the 5th


-- d

vessel

I've seen too many skies
To hold on to this one
Lived to many lives
To not be on the run

I am a ghost in my own life
A dead man for all you know
I am a ghost in my own life
A body washed up on the shore

I won't settle for stormy skies
I want clear horizon lines

So send this vessel out to sea
Im not the captain I was meant to be

im not trying to bum anyone out, this is for me to vent.

a place for my words

i went back to that place and read all your words.

what happen...

Despite all the wrong, all the hurt, lies and negitive whatevers, this is so damn hard. I miss it all. Fuck if that's wrong and backwards. Fuck what I've said. This hurts more than anything ever has, ever. I don't know what anything means or what to do besides live each day hoping the next is easier.

Just wish I could say it all to you, there's just no way I know how to.

Woe as me, it's my own fault. Get over it asshole.


-- d

A mile away

Saw that coming. Knew it was just a matter of time.

I did this too myself

I destroyed my own bed and can no longer sleep in it.

Let it go


-- d

Once twice three times

Everday I question my choice. You can't erase the past nor would I want to. I just need to go thru this. Have to go thru this. Bahh. Can you break your own heart?!


-- d

Count your blessings and not your curses

I feel like the luckiest dude at times cuz i get to do EXACTLY what I want now with my life it's often unreal, and I need to remember that more often.

Shit is hard knowing what and who I left behind, but I need to remember why.

These people Im around are real, great, fucking, people.

For all my woe-ing as me, my lifes purpose is far greater then the bullshit. Im into it.




-- d

i think maybe

i need to start posting in this again, it helped and i need some help right about now.

My month

Oct 2 2009 6:00P
THE ATTIC Dayton, Ohio
Oct 3 2009 6:00P
THE KOROVA Morris, Illinois
Oct 5 2009 8:00P
4H Cape Girardeau, Missouri
Oct 6 2009 6:00P
THE VILLAGE Little Rock, Arkansas
Oct 7 2009 6:00P
EAGLES LODGE Wichita, Kansas
Oct 9 2009 6:30P
THE CLUBHOUSE - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Tempe, Arizona
Oct 10 2009 6:00P
CHAIN REACTION - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Anaheim, California
Oct 11 2009 6:00P
THE KNITTING FACTORY - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Los Angeles, California
Oct 13 2009 6:30P
SUNSHINE THEATER - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Albuquerque, New Mexico
Oct 14 2009 6:30P
CASA BLANCA BALLROOM - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Laredo, Texas
Oct 15 2009 6:00P
HOUSE OF ROCK - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Corpus Christi, Texas
Oct 16 2009 6:00P
WHITE RABBIT - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS San Antonio, Texas
Oct 17 2009 6:30P
THE DOOR - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Dallas, Texas
Oct 18 2009 6:00P
MERIDIAN - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Houston, Texas
Oct 20 2009 6:30P
THE MASQUERADE - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Atlanta, Georgia
Oct 21 2009 7:00P
CULTURE ROOM - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Oct 22 2009 6:00P
THE STATE THEATRE - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS St. Petersburg, Florida
Oct 23 2009 6:00P
THE PIT - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Jacksonville, Florida
Oct 24 2009 6:00P
CANAL CLUB (Downstairs) - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Richmond, Virginia
Oct 26 2009 6:00P
SONAR - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Baltimore, Maryland
Oct 27 2009 5:30P
HIGHLINE BALLROOM - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS New York, New York
Oct 28 2009 6:30P
CRAZY DONKEY - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Farmingdale, New York
Oct 29 2009 6:00P
ALPINE GROVE - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Hollis, New Hampshire
Oct 30 2009 6:00P
CROCODILE ROCK - ATTICUS TOUR w/FINCH, BLESSTHEFALL, DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS Allentown, Pennsylvania

See you there.


-- d

ready

Ready for fall

Ready for tour

Ready for everything thats next.

and feelin good.

$1,124-hospital bill
+
$185-tickets(acab)
+
$85-phone bill
+
\ one day a week at hot topic

= my financial life sucks.



-- d

fuck

YOURE RIDICULOUS!

You say all these words, you say you mean them, you make me feel bad, like im some monster, and you turn around and act the way you do?! What youre saying and what youre doing are two completely different and contradicting.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

Faux-cussed

I really feel focused recently, though my life is hetic and very unstable with money and a place to live and whatever, I still feel at peace and happy inside, which is all that really matters.

Im workin on trying to get a job besides HT, it just hard to have anyone hire me. Hi, I wanna get paid, and leave a lot and when I get home I want my job right back again...doesn't really impress in an interview ya know?!

Also side note Im rolling spliffs on the regular now, I like it. Good combo and it feels healthy?!

End scene.


-- d

No rhyme

Why do I feel so off? Why is it that no matter where I am I feel like I don't have a reason to be there. Lifes so good recently, yet I feel no purpose on some days. I guess we all feel this way, or at least I'd like to feel as if I wasn't alone on this.

I feel like Im still waiting to live sometimes and others I feel like I couldn't be living life fuller, blah this extreme balance is overwhelming at times.

Purpose is there, I guess it's those in between times I loath.

Im just bummed.

And need direction in more areas of my life.




-- d

Nothing gold

All I want, all I try to do, is be happy. Be content with the life I lead, and yet Im still brought down by peoples terrible unsupportive words.

Apparently people feel as though I've changed and become this person they don't know, but not one of those people will talk to me about it, I have to hear it via other people and not them.

Do you really feel like this?! Or have I become the person it's easiest to shit on because Im gone a lot now?

I am still the same dude I've been, except now, now Im happy, I have nothing to be bitter about. My outlook on life and things is just better. I was sick of being angry and stressed. This has made me happy.

So ya, I guess I have changed, for the better, Im a better person and I will not go back to how I was because some people don't think Im being me. This is me and this is the life I choose. If you are my friend, then you know this, and you know Im happy in it.

Im sorry Im not around a lot, and I don't have an ego just cuz Im in some band. All I do is talk abou my friends and miss my friends while Im gone, please know this, know Im still Davey Im just happy Davey and hope that's okay with everyone.












-- d

my not so distant future...

Shawn wakes me up at 4am, and we switch driving shift and by some off chance my shift was an hour or so drive right into seattle. few people can really understand the moment i had right then, ive felt drawn to seattle foe years, but never been and this was the make it or break it moment for me. and let me tell you, it made it. listening to death cab as i drove thru woods and up a hill, then to come down and see seattle just a bridge away, surrounded by water almost capped off from the rest of the world, truly amazing, and a personal goal met of mine.

i was the only one awake as i drove thru neighbors with the most amazing architecture and housing ive ever seen. its not that it would blow everyone away, just me. i feel like i was supposed to be from here, i feel so comfortable here.

i parked on the street as the 530 am morning bussel started and i watch the city awaken, it was interesting to try and put myself in mix of all that in my head, as i looked up apartments on craigslist and thought about whether i wanna live near the water or downtown.

all the dudes woke up and we went to the public market place and me and chris and ev, pulled the cliche move and got s bucks and sat in the market area and enjoyed people watching and a homeless man who was talking loudly to himself, in the seat touching mine, haha.

we got into the sound and scifi museums for free, and i got to see the history of grunge how ive always wanted to, got to see nirvanas actual gear, kurts journals, demo tapes, old soundgarden records and mudhoney fliers, shit was insane to be standing in front of the reasons i play music. i think we all were a little humbled being there.

walking around this city makes me feel more at home then anywhere. i know its been A DAY but just being here is a real dream come true, and already this band has blown my mind and taken me to places ive wanted to be for so long. cant wait for the future.

Although i wont be moving here for a while, i will be moving here, its not going anywhere and i am happy for my life here and whatever it will bring.

ps...these pictures do not do this town justice. but you get it.

Seattle 2k????????

north by north west

SO...after a night of heavy influence from black velvet we woke up at 8ish and i legit felt like all kinds of death, and we hit the road headed to washington. a river with amazing rapids followed parallel to the highway so we pulled over and took a dip, it was amazing and very refreshing for all of us, even those that didnt swim. i great excuse to be late to another show haha. i really dig this side of the country. alot.

next stop dream city usa, seattle wa!!!!

the other half

so this tour has brought me to the other side of the country, and thus far, im a fan...texas can suck a hot dick, but the shows were very cool there. @java jazz we had a spur of the moment photo shoot which was fun to try to handle drunk and what now, proved for a great time.

Denver was amazing, i love that city and the environment, and the over all vibe, much needed.

and we spent the last day or so driving to utah thru some amazing ass country, really put some shit into perspective.

im posting this in a make up/model style dressing room in salt lake city which is surrounded but the rockie mountain range.

life.

youre welcome davey.

moving on, with a new direction

though this is such a big move, a different move, a maybe to some unexpected move, im more happy with my direction then i ever have been. i feel like i shed a bit of my old self which is weird to come to grips with even that because i made me realize that we are never really done growing as people as sure of ourselves as we may feel. i am happy, truly. and im doing this for myself, i need to focus on me, so thats what im doing.

this is just me living my dream and making myself proud, and its okay if you dont agree or wish something else for me, as i said this was me making me happy, no looking back.

i hope that anyone who is my friend, maybe it be casual or close, supports this and me.

heres to hoping.

D Day

its happened and i couldnt be happier.

tournapped

Im out with Vanna on the "Blaze of Glory" tour also with A Static Lullaby, Motionless in White, Asking Alexandra, and Tides of Man. Having the goddamn time of my life and i wanna share a little, no particular order to these, ill be updating more, n you?!

Sunday

So i did alittle modeling for my buddy eric and his new company SHRED CLOTHING, please check them out if you can. Good dude, good clothes, get into it.