5 t r 3 5 5

This whole goddamn tour is stressin me to the max. Between last minute merch orders, the van maybe/not maybe getting fixed in time. All the dudes fighting and dissagreeing about everything and getting on each others nerves like crazy. Then ontop of that, working two jobs just to keep up with all the money we owe for shit while some people barely work any jobs, frustrating. And then ontop of that trying to still mantain an normal life, give attention to those who needs a deserve it, still be a good friend/roomate, still have time and energy for everyone. And yet I feel like I'm failing. I'm not trying to be selfish. I'm trying to be 100 different people, and its wearing me out. I'm just trying to be happy and make a few people happy as well. Ugh, its all so much somtimes, and I feel like I'm failing, terribely. And in the back of my head is the touring schedule for the next 3 months and that makes me feel like this won't end. This is my dream, but goddamn its stressful right now


This is the life I chose.
I'm sorry to all who it disapoints.
One day it will be different.

Fail.

we won

Game over.

Victory.

See ya in the winners circle, ill be holding the trophy.

Under pressure

4th and goal, last seconds of the game, 25 yards away, scores tied up, all we need is a field goal to win the super bowl. And this season has been so rough and we are the underdogs everyones rooted for. And here I am, about to make or break these dudes hopes and dreams. We win, our lives could be what we wanted to be. We lose, its my fault and we lose it all.

This is how I feel

No pressure right?

Recording vocals this week.

Stressed

when it rains, it pours acid

The past few days/weeks have been so goddamn stressful and full of bad news and dissapointment. I between working 2 jobs, the band which is more than a fulltime job, my family, friends, its all just been too much it seems. My stress level is outta tis world, I have trouble breathing. It gets harder everyday.

All I want is one day without terrible news, shitty people and so much stress I wanna die.

I feel like I'm so close to killing something. Ha.

Thanks for dealing with me and making me at ease and feel better.
<3

on second thought...

Fuck today.

All I did we get yelled at, stressed out, get real sad, get bad news, lost a lot of fucking money, lose a debit card, sweat and get lied too.

I wanna pretend today didn't happen. The bad out wieght the good today. At least I swam.

Well fuck it. Bye.

this made my morning, thanks tyler

I've had shit morning, lost my atm card, had to drive away from the DD drive thru and felt like an ass, got to work feeling shit and coffeeless, and just as I was set on having having a bad day...a 5 year old said this in reaction to my facial hair and general appearance...

Tyler-"Mr. Muise, you got like a daddy moustache, like you could fight anyone"

Me- "oh ya bud, ya think so?"

Tyler- "ya and like yer tattoos and flip flops, you could probably kill so many stupid men, I'm gonna be you in a few years when I'm bigger, okay?"

Hahaha, how could you ever be pissed or do anything but smile all day.

Thanks Tyler.

life gives you lemons, it gives me dogshit.

Everytime it seems, somethings gonna go right, or I'm gonna get a lil extra something, life has a funny way of robbing me.

Everyone got that extra 300 or 600$ check from good ol america, this year.

So I think, oh shit, I'm gonna do somthing nice. I've wanted a new laptop since the fire...and since my benefit show money was stolen, I wasn't able to get it. So here's my chance...

Cept, my brakes gave out on the way home and I put the car in the shop. 350$ for brake lines, and since its aug, 50$ for new sticker, 100$ to reregister my car. 65$ for cell phone...which leaves me with dick.

I guess I'm thankful the money was there, but still comon...like give me a goddamn break. I just want something nice.
When I'm not touring, I work 2 fucking jobs, and I always feel like I never have money. Blah being in debt is the fucking worst.

Its so hard to have a positive out look on things, when those things go to shit.

The only plus is I'm blessed with someone who hurts when I hurt, cries when I cry, and smiles when I smile. She honestly gets me through these hard days. So its hard to upset about material things when she's laying next to me in bed. So in that way, I'm lucky.

But goddamnit I just wanted a laptop. Ha.

tonight

Shall go something like this...

Sound clips
Rock and roll
Beer
A.W.K. (Hehe)
Whiskey
Rock and roll
Party
Headbanging
Dance!
Beer
Tits
Rock and roll
Whiskey
...sleep, never.

Come do this all with me.